pick me up and turn me round
I dont necessarily want to be home in LA, although i do miss my friends and my parents, but Id like a home. The worst part of moving so far is that, lacking an apartment, and even any good leads, I dont feel like my life is starting here yet. I have no apartment, no job, I dont start at the theatre for another week or so, and I dont have any friends. that all sounds more depressing when its actually written out. I know it hasnt been very long, and things will get better, its just hard to look forward when all your worldy possessions are in the back of your car and dont seem to be getting out any time soon. So thats where things are right now...lots of craigslisting, lots of calling and being told the building is full or only has 900 dollar apts available.
Everytime I start something new, I have this fantasy that I will be a different person. that just because I am moving to Evanston, or London, or Portland that I will change all the things about myself that i want to change...that i will start anew, rise from my own ashes like the phoenix i plan to get tattooed on my back. Its not a particularly unique sentiment, I'm sure, and it doesnt usually work out that way. I have made a small step in that direction this time though, i feel. I went to see a family friend's band play (one I havent seen in maybe 15 years, which still put him in the top five people I knew before moving to Portland) and a group of people that looked reasonable my age sat next to me, and I was able to carry on a conversation throughout the evening with one of them, who was a reasonably cute girl to top it all off. For most people this isnt a step towards anything, its just a Thursday. But I don't really like talking to strangers, and when I asked for her number after the show it was probably the first time I had ever done that. I asked partly because it would, as i told her, be nice to have a friend who knew the city and mostly just to prove I could, but still. One small step for man. So there Portland.
I should probably tell people about this if i want them to read it. Oh well. Everything in due time.
j
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1 comment:
The only reason I'm commenting this is because I picture you desperately checking every two minutes to see if anybody cares. Well I guess I do...either that or it's 5:00 on Friday and I still have half an hour of work left and don't actually want to do work. You decide which is more likely. Nice work on the chica, by the way.
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